Is it possible to date someone “too hot”? These gays say yes

Maybe it’s time to let go of your fantasy of dating that Hollywood heartthrob. Reddit users have been discussing the hardships of dating someone “too hot.”

“Like, random people congratulate you as if you got a trophy. ‘Wow, good job,’ or ‘Good for you.’ Or he’s the arm candy of the relationship. He gets hit on everywhere, and you’re just… there,” one person wrote in the r/askgaybros subreddit, starting the convo recently.

“I’m happy for him, I want him to feel validated and sexy, but it also just makes me feel inferior in a way and makes me feel less attractive. It almost makes me question why he chose me.”

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Adding insecurity to injury, that OP said he previously dated a hot dude who was cheating on him the whole time.

One commenter could sympathize, writing: “It’s happened to me once. Everyone kept commenting how unbelievably attractive this guy was (he was a model, too), and I just felt so ‘less than.’ When I told him how it all made me feel, he didn’t call me beautiful or anything. He just said, ‘Yeah, but I go for personalities’…which I can laugh at now because of his ignorance, but still. We did end up breaking up, because admittedly, I was threatened by how much attention he had on social media and the nights out we went on.”

Another user also has experience with a comely cheater: “Yeah, in my first long-term relationship, my boyfriend was super attractive. He was experiencing his ‘glow up,’ and for some reason, he found me attractive. My friends and family would always talk about how attractive he was like they couldn’t believe he was interested in me. But I’m going through my glow up currently, and his is over. Oh yeah, he was an a-hole that cheated on me.”

However, another commenter, at least, reported being in a relationship with a dude both hot and honorable: “When I started dating my partner, we used to go out to bars and clubs a lot. Men from his past were always coming up to him and hitting on him or professing their love for him. I would be like, ‘Whatever, he’s with me now.’ I paid no mind. My partner would say to them, ‘Please have some soft respect and understand that I’m not interested. I’m here with someone I am interested in, so please let us be.’ If they were persistent, he would say, ‘You are embarrassing yourself,’ and then they would get the hint finally.”

Reddit users on the other side of the beauty equation also chimed in on the thread.

“I was a ‘trophy husband’ for over a decade. It f*cked with my sense of self-worth, and (in my humble opinion) it is a form of abuse to put another adult on a pedestal as an expression of ‘love.’ It is actually a sick form of gaslighting and manipulation,” one wrote. “With that said, people (straight and gay) tend to be extremely disrespectful to those of us who are perceived as ‘hot.’ They treat us as though we are stupid, when in reality, we are fully aware of their inappropriate behaviors, the constant double entendres, and the general assumption of our stupidity.”

And someone else said: “I’ve been on both sides of this. I don’t really understand how I’ve fallen on the ‘attractive one’ side when it has happened, but I’ve been told this was the case, so [shrugging emoji]. I think I’ve learned that it’s always just a matter of perspective. Some people prefer turquoise or onyx or quartz jewelry to diamonds. In the end, everyone is a gem of some kind to someone, and just shiny stupid rocks to everyone else.”

Now that’s a lustrous reframe. May we all have more onyx/quartz/diamond days than shiny stupid rock days!

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